Reasons and not the candy.....

One of the book I'm reading about weight loss talks about the emotional hunger people experience and how that relates to the amount of food we eat. For me, I can't think of a time after my freshman year when I didn't eat in front of the TV, playing video games or simply not paying enough attention to what I was putting in my mouth and how much.  During the majority of those years I was dating - different guys up until my Junior year in the College of Music. When I started dating "T" my world revolved around him and his world revolved around world of warcraft-when he ate, when he slept, when he showered, when he decided to be social, who he interacted with and since I wanted to spend time with him, I made his life my life and picked up the same habit of eating whenever and however much he ate.  The more time I spent with him, the more sedentary I got and the more weight I gained, not just from eating junk and being lazy but because I had emotions and feelings that I couldn't express to him because he wasn't there.  I gained a significant amount of weight during the time we dated and even after. I have gained 20 pounds since moving here 7 months ago. I know why. There is that emotional hunger of wanting companionship with friends, with guys, to be with people who are genuinely interested in me and my well being; who listen and understand and aren't just in it for themselves. I sit and eat in front of the TV to avoid my marital status.  I was in a wedding this past weekend and I have never been more aware of my marital status - almost all the wedding party was married and that was all anyone talked about which left me out in the dark because I'm not there and I've never been there.  When I come home from work there is no one there to greet me, no one to cook for, no one to share my day with - not even a pet! Its so much simpler to just turn off and turn the TV on than to take care of myself, to invest in relationships and to forgive my past.  I know what I need, but finding that group and that schedule with my work schedule is proving to be quite difficult. I know if I can get involved in OA, join curves and maintain the other activities I do, eating by myself wouldn't be such a problem and a challenge. I have all the right resources, its time to stop making excuses and just do it!