Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Gimme a break
Dear friends,
I will be taking a break from this until I get the cancer and everything under control. Meanwhile, feel free to subscribe to my caring bridge site: www.caringbridge.org/visit/rachelmasters to keep up with my diagnosis and treatment.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Terrible news, Good news and EXCITING news!
Sorry for the delay in posting in a while, I've had quite a roller coaster of a month so far.
Mom and dad came in to town 2 weeks ago and I got to spend some time with them. That Friday we (including Jon) went to Plano to what we thought was going to be a consultation for back surgery. After visiting with the scoli surgeon and his assistant, they were convinced that with some core strengthening I could live with the curve and it would help lessen the pain. Jon spoke up at that point and said that it wasn't just some "mild discomfort" and began describing the pain to him, which made the doctors go back to the x-ray. When they came in the room he wasn't so optimistic. "We found a shadow...." then he led us into the room to view the x-ray, where he showed us what he was talking about. He wasn't sure what it was but due to the size of it, wanted to have it checked out immediately. So he called over to Baylor (next door) and sent me in for a CT scan. They did the CT scan and then called us all into the viewing room. The scoli surgeon was there as well (even though by now, it was about 5:15 on Friday evening and I was really no longer his concern). He told us that while we had hoped we wouldn't have anything to worry about over the weekend, we now had a LOT to worry about. He then introduced us to the radiologist who went on to explain the image. As soon as I heard the words, "tumor" and "malignant" my mom latched on to me and I grabbed Jon's hand. Everything else after that just became white noise. The radiologist explained what he thought it was and gave us next steps and said he would burn the images to a disc. While we waited for the disc, I broke down. I started crying and all anyone could do was just hug me. As we were going out to the car, the scoli surgeon stopped us and said he had set up an appointment with an oncologist for Monday morning at 8:30. He would go over the images with us further and discuss next steps from there. The ride back to my sisters was quiet, other than the occasional ding from a text message on my phone.
On Monday, we confirmed with the oncologist that it is cancer. He said that I would be referred to MD Anderson for a biopsy and then could do chemo up here. So as of right now, I'm still waiting on that appointment. As for the scoliosis....it is not the cause of my pain, the tumor is. And it is possible that the way the tumor is growing, it is the cause for the curve in my spine. I don't have any back pain so having back surgery is no longer in the cards for me.
Now for the exciting news. Jon had said that he was going to have a guys night this past Friday. Shortly after that I got a text from my friend Shelley who suggested we have a girls night, which normally wouldn't cause any suspicion, except she mentioned 1) picking me up and 2) getting "gussied up". I didn't mention my suspicions to them, just went along with it. Got my hair cut Friday and got ready for dinner. Shelley and I went to Carrabba's and halfway through our meal, she got a call from one of our friends who works at church wanting Shelley to come up and take care of moving a table for the fundraiser the next night. So we went up to church after dinner and wandered around for a bit until Shelley got a text from our friend saying to go to the chapel to look at a table. So we went to the chapel and as soon as the doors were opened, I saw candles lit the entire length of the aisle and across the stage. On stage were 4 of our friends with guitars and drums and Jon with a mic. They started playing "Calling You" by Blue October (our song) and Jon sang the second verse. There was an interlude where Jon came down off the stage and gave his speech, how much he loves me, how he wants to wake up next to me, how I'm his best friend (and some other stuff)...then he got down on one knee and proposed.
OF COURSE I SAID YES!!!!!
So now we get to do all the fun things like registering for gifts and planning a honeymoon and oh yeah....deciding who has to leave Cook Children's. :( The HR Policy here states that if you work in IT, HR or Finance you can't have any relative working at the hospital. Of course our boss is going to try to fight it, but it's not a guarantee. We're still working on a date, but are very excited.
Mom and dad came in to town 2 weeks ago and I got to spend some time with them. That Friday we (including Jon) went to Plano to what we thought was going to be a consultation for back surgery. After visiting with the scoli surgeon and his assistant, they were convinced that with some core strengthening I could live with the curve and it would help lessen the pain. Jon spoke up at that point and said that it wasn't just some "mild discomfort" and began describing the pain to him, which made the doctors go back to the x-ray. When they came in the room he wasn't so optimistic. "We found a shadow...." then he led us into the room to view the x-ray, where he showed us what he was talking about. He wasn't sure what it was but due to the size of it, wanted to have it checked out immediately. So he called over to Baylor (next door) and sent me in for a CT scan. They did the CT scan and then called us all into the viewing room. The scoli surgeon was there as well (even though by now, it was about 5:15 on Friday evening and I was really no longer his concern). He told us that while we had hoped we wouldn't have anything to worry about over the weekend, we now had a LOT to worry about. He then introduced us to the radiologist who went on to explain the image. As soon as I heard the words, "tumor" and "malignant" my mom latched on to me and I grabbed Jon's hand. Everything else after that just became white noise. The radiologist explained what he thought it was and gave us next steps and said he would burn the images to a disc. While we waited for the disc, I broke down. I started crying and all anyone could do was just hug me. As we were going out to the car, the scoli surgeon stopped us and said he had set up an appointment with an oncologist for Monday morning at 8:30. He would go over the images with us further and discuss next steps from there. The ride back to my sisters was quiet, other than the occasional ding from a text message on my phone.
On Monday, we confirmed with the oncologist that it is cancer. He said that I would be referred to MD Anderson for a biopsy and then could do chemo up here. So as of right now, I'm still waiting on that appointment. As for the scoliosis....it is not the cause of my pain, the tumor is. And it is possible that the way the tumor is growing, it is the cause for the curve in my spine. I don't have any back pain so having back surgery is no longer in the cards for me.
Now for the exciting news. Jon had said that he was going to have a guys night this past Friday. Shortly after that I got a text from my friend Shelley who suggested we have a girls night, which normally wouldn't cause any suspicion, except she mentioned 1) picking me up and 2) getting "gussied up". I didn't mention my suspicions to them, just went along with it. Got my hair cut Friday and got ready for dinner. Shelley and I went to Carrabba's and halfway through our meal, she got a call from one of our friends who works at church wanting Shelley to come up and take care of moving a table for the fundraiser the next night. So we went up to church after dinner and wandered around for a bit until Shelley got a text from our friend saying to go to the chapel to look at a table. So we went to the chapel and as soon as the doors were opened, I saw candles lit the entire length of the aisle and across the stage. On stage were 4 of our friends with guitars and drums and Jon with a mic. They started playing "Calling You" by Blue October (our song) and Jon sang the second verse. There was an interlude where Jon came down off the stage and gave his speech, how much he loves me, how he wants to wake up next to me, how I'm his best friend (and some other stuff)...then he got down on one knee and proposed.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Twist and shout (literally!)
well friends, this blog is temporarily being hijacked for the next year as an outlet of sorts to help me process and deal with my scoliosis.
My first appointment is in 5 days. There's a lot of emotions going on right now - apprehension, anxiety, impatience, a little bit of excitement and a LOT of nervousness.
A little back story about my scoliosis: I was diagnosed with scoliosis when I was in 6th grade (you know during one of those awkward moments when everyone's mom comes and you have to bend over in the locker room)- it was an extremely mild curve which I told my parents about and we chose to ignore for the time being. I never experienced any pain until I was a senior in high school. It was very mild and very infrequent. My mom and I found out that my curve had progressed to 23 degrees. The doctor was not concerned at all and said that for most people it would correct itself on its own. By that point, I was too old and my bones had already started to set for a back brace to be of any help. The doctor said to come back in 5 years. Well, 5 years came and went, I didn't have much if any pain and didn't think about it at all until I moved to Texas. 2 years ago out of the blue I noticed I couldn't sleep on my left side anymore. It hurt too much. So I gradually had to adjust to sleeping on my stomach or my back. I also noticed I started leaning a LOT to the left at work and when I was standing or sitting. Initially a heating pad or ibuprofen helped and I could still function pretty normally. But gradually heating pads, ice, and any sort of over the counter pain medicine stopped working. I noticed walking becoming more painful requiring me to put my left hand on my hip to aleviate some of the pain while walking. In January of this year I woke up in the middle of the night with an intense burning sensation on my left side. It hurt so bad I was not able to sleep. I ended up going for a walk at 4:30 in the morning just for something to do to hopefully help clear my head. I finally set up a woman's exam the day before my birthday and started doing some research on scoliosis. The second my doctor walked in the room she asked me if my scoliosis caused me any pain. I didn't have to say a word about it. I explained the kind of pain I was having and she prescribed a muscle relaxer. I took it for a while, but it didn't really do anything to help with the intense burning sensation I experienced a couple times a month. I finally called and requested a referral to a spine specialist. My appointment was in April. I had to fill out at least 20 pages of paperwork detailing my pain, medical history and all that fun stuff. They took me back for x-rays and I peeked around the corner after the first one and my jaw nearly hit the floor when I saw it. My curve had progressed. My upper back looked like a 'c' with the curve of it being on my left side. They took one more and sent me back to my room. I got dressed and continued filling out the paperwork until the doctor came in. He showed me the x-rays and said my curve was over 50 degrees. I had done enough reading at that point to know anything over 50 would require surgery. No ifs, ands, or buts. He told me there was also rotation and that curve had rotated under my left shoulder blade pinching nerves causing the burning sensation. It was also pressing my ribcage outward. He said the curve would only get worse and that surgery was my only option of correcting this and getting rid of the pain. He told me he would refer me to Baylor for the surgery. I asked a few more questions and then left. Talk about an overload. Hearing that kind of news by yourself is enough to make any person freak out. I talked with my parents, told them the results. We spent the rest of the day praying and doing research. My parents called me later that night to pray over me. A week later, I got in touch with Baylor and scheduled the initial consultation. My parents wanted to be there for it, which meant waiting 6 weeks to see someone. I had to have the doctor call in a prescription for pain because it got so severe. I'm still having a lot of pain, even with taking the medicine.
It's 5 days away. I have visited with the folks at Baylor to see how quickly the surgery might be scheduled. Their answer: it depends. However, the doctor I'm seeing has a lot of openings. 5 days until I find out. 5 days until questions are answered. 5 days until I can set a date and begin counting down the days. 5 days....it seems like such a long time, especially with pain.
6 days until the boyfriend talks with the parentals about popping the question :) That too will happen this month along with my parents moving to Wisconsin.
Crazy busy month. Can use all the prayers I can get!!!
My first appointment is in 5 days. There's a lot of emotions going on right now - apprehension, anxiety, impatience, a little bit of excitement and a LOT of nervousness.
A little back story about my scoliosis: I was diagnosed with scoliosis when I was in 6th grade (you know during one of those awkward moments when everyone's mom comes and you have to bend over in the locker room)- it was an extremely mild curve which I told my parents about and we chose to ignore for the time being. I never experienced any pain until I was a senior in high school. It was very mild and very infrequent. My mom and I found out that my curve had progressed to 23 degrees. The doctor was not concerned at all and said that for most people it would correct itself on its own. By that point, I was too old and my bones had already started to set for a back brace to be of any help. The doctor said to come back in 5 years. Well, 5 years came and went, I didn't have much if any pain and didn't think about it at all until I moved to Texas. 2 years ago out of the blue I noticed I couldn't sleep on my left side anymore. It hurt too much. So I gradually had to adjust to sleeping on my stomach or my back. I also noticed I started leaning a LOT to the left at work and when I was standing or sitting. Initially a heating pad or ibuprofen helped and I could still function pretty normally. But gradually heating pads, ice, and any sort of over the counter pain medicine stopped working. I noticed walking becoming more painful requiring me to put my left hand on my hip to aleviate some of the pain while walking. In January of this year I woke up in the middle of the night with an intense burning sensation on my left side. It hurt so bad I was not able to sleep. I ended up going for a walk at 4:30 in the morning just for something to do to hopefully help clear my head. I finally set up a woman's exam the day before my birthday and started doing some research on scoliosis. The second my doctor walked in the room she asked me if my scoliosis caused me any pain. I didn't have to say a word about it. I explained the kind of pain I was having and she prescribed a muscle relaxer. I took it for a while, but it didn't really do anything to help with the intense burning sensation I experienced a couple times a month. I finally called and requested a referral to a spine specialist. My appointment was in April. I had to fill out at least 20 pages of paperwork detailing my pain, medical history and all that fun stuff. They took me back for x-rays and I peeked around the corner after the first one and my jaw nearly hit the floor when I saw it. My curve had progressed. My upper back looked like a 'c' with the curve of it being on my left side. They took one more and sent me back to my room. I got dressed and continued filling out the paperwork until the doctor came in. He showed me the x-rays and said my curve was over 50 degrees. I had done enough reading at that point to know anything over 50 would require surgery. No ifs, ands, or buts. He told me there was also rotation and that curve had rotated under my left shoulder blade pinching nerves causing the burning sensation. It was also pressing my ribcage outward. He said the curve would only get worse and that surgery was my only option of correcting this and getting rid of the pain. He told me he would refer me to Baylor for the surgery. I asked a few more questions and then left. Talk about an overload. Hearing that kind of news by yourself is enough to make any person freak out. I talked with my parents, told them the results. We spent the rest of the day praying and doing research. My parents called me later that night to pray over me. A week later, I got in touch with Baylor and scheduled the initial consultation. My parents wanted to be there for it, which meant waiting 6 weeks to see someone. I had to have the doctor call in a prescription for pain because it got so severe. I'm still having a lot of pain, even with taking the medicine.
It's 5 days away. I have visited with the folks at Baylor to see how quickly the surgery might be scheduled. Their answer: it depends. However, the doctor I'm seeing has a lot of openings. 5 days until I find out. 5 days until questions are answered. 5 days until I can set a date and begin counting down the days. 5 days....it seems like such a long time, especially with pain.
6 days until the boyfriend talks with the parentals about popping the question :) That too will happen this month along with my parents moving to Wisconsin.
Crazy busy month. Can use all the prayers I can get!!!
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