Challenges

This past week has proved to be very challenging for me both physically and emotionally. I was able to go the entire week without taking any pain medications (partially because I didn't need it and partially because I wanted to have enough to last until my appointment). But because of that, I didn't sleep very well at ALL this week. I did go out to IKEA with my sister and nephew and then to Grapevine Mills Mall, and I think with all the walking I might have overdone it.  I was exhausted by the time I got home and feeling extremely dizzy and weak.  Tried to take a nap but sleep wouldn't come. I met my friend LeighAnn for dinner and barely ate anything (and for those of you that know me know this is not me at all!) Towards the end of the meal, I began to feel really nauseous and ended up throwing up on the way to my car :(  Spent all day Saturday in bed trying to recover.  Still don't have my appetite back and still feeling nauseous with a headache.  I did look up the side effects of the pain medication I'm taking and all these symptoms I'm having are side effects. :(  12 more days then hopefully the doctor I see will prescribe a new medication.

I've also had a really hard time with being selfish lately.  This was something I asked for prayers for at home church on Thursday night - just not feeling myself, feeling irritable and wanting things to be about me.  I've had a hard time also with trying to make everyone happy with regards to my appointments and all that - it's not easy considering the schedules of people at work, Jon, my parents and all the while enduring the pain and sleeplessness.  I became really overwhelmed this week with the frustration of it all and just broke down. Luckily I have been blessed with an INCREDIBLY caring group of friends and an amazing boyfriend who just listened to me. 

Since I was feeling under the weather yesterday, I stayed at home and watched church services via stream.  Rick's lesson was amazing as usual and it prompted Jon to go forward for prayers for us and my surgery. The elder he talked to was very understanding and had found out about the fundraiser in a couple weeks and since he was not going to be able to make it, he donated right then and there.  $200!!!! When Jon told me, I was blown away. Talk about God providing! I know this will be an incredibly difficult season for me to accept monetary gifts and the help of friends and family when there are things I can't do for myself. I know God is using this to demonstrate His power and to show me that it's okay to depend on people and that He will carry me through all this.  It's easy to forget that sometimes and think that I'm on this journey alone - it's hard to explain to people the type and intensity of the pain that I'm having, it's hard to be honest without sounding needy or like I'm complaining or even bitter.

The journey is far from over and I can use all the encouragement I can get!!!