It's been a long road.......

"....gettin' from there to here.  It's been a long time but my time is finally near and I can feel a change in the wind right now, nothing's in my way and they're not going to hold me down no more, no they're not going to hold me down. Cause I've got faith of the heart. I'm going where my heart will take me. I've got faith to believe, I can do anything. I've got strength of the soul and no one is going to bend or break me. I can reach any star. I've got faith, faith of the heart" - Rod Stewart

I'm going to steal a bit from my friend Lynn's blog and do a bit from a song.  This was one of the 'Pathways songs'  and for some reason this song was on my heart for the past couple of nights.  I guess it should be, tomorrow is the last day of the year.  And what a year it's been.  I vowed to start losing weight and yes, I've started, I've dropped a whole size...it's taken a year, but I've been through some pretty incredible processes in that year, learning about me, about what I want, where I want to go and I'm ready to fully embrace the new year with all the adventures it holds.

Tonight I had a little bit of a sad moment.  After watching Hoarders (which inevitably ALWAYS happens) I wanted to go through and clean out EVERYTHING from my closet. So I started going through clothes, finding what I didn't wear, what I still wanted to wear but couldn't and I realized there were several articles of clothing that I dearly loved but could not wear anymore. It made me sad to have to put them up and to come to the realization that I thought I would be there now. I thought I would be at the point where I could wear some of that stuff and I can't. I know I've had a lot of drama going on in my life the past couple of months and I haven't been regular at curves.  Sure I have workout DVDs here, two legs and a plethora of other exercise equipment right in my own room but there it sits, collecting dust day after day while I sit on the couch day after day vowing to return to it the next day thinking, "I'll have more energy tomorrow," or "tomorrow won't be nearly as stressful".  I've had to take a good hard look at some of the habits and routines I have in my life and what things aren't working for me.  I have to have some major work done on my car tomorrow which is costing a pretty penny - money that, had I not gone hogwild in college I would have set aside in an emergency fund - realizing that I need to pay off my debt which means an extra job which means ZERO time which MEANS (get to the point already right?!).....I'm going to have to MAKE time to work out.  It's going to have to become a priority this next year or this weight will never come off.  Granted there's other habits that need to change too and I'm working on them (granted they'll be easier to manage once I have more income...eating healthy is NOT cheap!!!).

It has been a long road, looking back from 2000-2010 - I've lived in 3 states, 11 different houses, dated 7 guys, had 3 cars (none totaled or wrecked just sold or given away....), 'buried' 2 pets (we never found out what happened to Tigger and we spread Jeb's ashes), graduated from HS and college, and done lots of growing up.  I'm ready for the next 10 years, whatever they may hold. It's been a long road, but my journey isn't over yet. It never will be.  "I've got faith to believe I can do anything....I've got faith, faith of the heart".