well, the first week of the new year didn't start off so well in terms of my goals. I worked the night shift all week so my schedule was COMPLETELY thrown off which meant I slept most of the day and when I was up, it was late at night. The only things I did do were (begin to) revive this blog, do Simple Abundance, I did drink more water, I at least started 'Thin Again', and that's about it. Oh and getting up when my alarm went off...but that was usually my internal alarm clock.(does it count that my car has stayed clean for over a month now?? Well, the interior at least...)
When it got to be Friday night and I realized how much I HADN'T done (or started on) I had to take a step back and say, "hey, I'm only human, and it's been a rough week. I will make time for these things next week." And yes, I did get up when my alarm clock went off this morning (despite being woken up at midnight since I'm on call).
One of the things I love about where I work is all the benefits. Our healthcare provider has a nifty set of tools to help you work on nutrition, sleep, anxiety, weight, and a couple others - I took a couple assessments and I didn't realize how ignorant I was on some of the food choices and how much I ignore the nutrients that my body needs. And granted, it's not always easy to cook healthy for one and eat leftovers all week. (it's made me seriously consider going back to mealbalance) It also opened my eyes to see how unhealthy all of my friends eat. When I took a serious inventory of how many in my group of friends is actually at a healthy weight....its maybe 2 (and granted they're both guys, but they both also have beer bellies) and NONE of us are active. We're taking a road trip to Florida in March and I wanted them all to give some me meal suggestions and I was really quite shocked at how unhealthy many of their preferences were. So friends: beware - not only will we be active when we go to Florida, but we will eat healthy too!! (especially if my parents have anything to say about that!! :))
This coming week I've got lots going on - my sister and I are starting a bible study together: 'So Long Insecurity' by Beth Moore. I'm really excited to do this study with her - we've really grown closer over the past year and I'm thankful my new job has given me these extra days off (who doesn't want a 3 day weekend EVERY week??!) to spend with her and Max. She has also graciuosly volunteered to help me with my closet (#26!!) and tackle my wardrobe. When it comes to fashion and style I don't have it. I follow a blog called Kendi Everyday and she mixes and matches stuff that I could never do. So I'm thankful to have someone more style-savvy than myself to help me tackle this project.
Despite my crazy schedule I did manage to get a couple things taken care of on my personal to-do list and in the process of feeling slightly more accomplished, I realized there was yet ANOTHER item I should have added on my '28 by 28' list: make a habit of logging my points on weight watchers. (which I did do today) But I guess this is part of what life is all about right? Making the most out of your every day life.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
28 by 28
okay, yes I know I'm not 27 yet. (only a month to go.. but doing 27 things in approx 32 days didn't seem quite feasable especially when most of them will take a good chunk of this year to do) I've seen several other bloggers do this with regard to the year (ie 2012 - 13 things to do before 2013...) or with regard to your age which is what I'm doing. Let me share with you my list:
1. Eat out no more than 3x a week
2. get to 200lbs by 8/1/12
3. Have a fully funded emergency fund by 3/1/12
4. Practice piano/guitar 3x a week for 30 minutes
5. Complete A+ certification
6. Clean out closets
7. Revive blog
8. Get debt free (and subsequently scream that on the Dave Ramsey Show)
9. Drink 8 glasses of water a day
10. Work out 3x a week for 30 minutes
11. Read and do Simple Abundance every day
12. Give more
13. Read bible/pray more
14. Take more photos
15. Keep car clean and organized
16. Keep track of expenses and an accurate budget
17. Read 2 new books each month
18. Do hair and make up every day
19. Send birthday/holiday/thank you cards
20. Try a new recipe each week
21. Re-read/refresh Finanical Peace
22. Read and finish 'Thin Again' (if I can do this this year, it will be a BIG deal...my mom gave it to me when I was a junior in college (back in 2005) and I have yet to get more than 5 chapters in).
23. Get a doctor, dentist and get check-ups for everything
24. Finish shabby-ing chest of drawers and get washers for knobs
25. Get better about grooming habits
26. Start new car fund
27. limit myself to 1 soda a week
28. Get up when my alarm goes off. (the first one...not the 6th one)
And since I will have had these extra 32 days to work on these I should have a good head start right? Well, let me just say it's only the 2nd day of the year and I've already changed about 6 of these - clean out the garage was one but my roommate took care of that yesterday and it looks quite lovely! I've done better about drinking more water and so far have done good about doing Simple Abundance and journaling.
You might notice that several of these (7 to be exact) are goals under the "lose weight" umbrella. I want to set myself up for habits that I can continue throughout the rest of the year (and my life) to help maintain and encourage weight loss. And with Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays off I can use those days to plan meals and cook ahead of time so when I get home I just pop something in the oven or microwave for dinner and I'm good to go.
One thing my sister and I talked about was doing water aerobics or joining the YMCA - well...one perk about working at Cook Children's is all the discounts we get - and yes, there is one at the YMCA...just might be going three this week to enroll!!
1. Eat out no more than 3x a week
2. get to 200lbs by 8/1/12
3. Have a fully funded emergency fund by 3/1/12
4. Practice piano/guitar 3x a week for 30 minutes
5. Complete A+ certification
6. Clean out closets
7. Revive blog
8. Get debt free (and subsequently scream that on the Dave Ramsey Show)
9. Drink 8 glasses of water a day
10. Work out 3x a week for 30 minutes
11. Read and do Simple Abundance every day
12. Give more
13. Read bible/pray more
14. Take more photos
15. Keep car clean and organized
16. Keep track of expenses and an accurate budget
17. Read 2 new books each month
18. Do hair and make up every day
19. Send birthday/holiday/thank you cards
20. Try a new recipe each week
21. Re-read/refresh Finanical Peace
22. Read and finish 'Thin Again' (if I can do this this year, it will be a BIG deal...my mom gave it to me when I was a junior in college (back in 2005) and I have yet to get more than 5 chapters in).
23. Get a doctor, dentist and get check-ups for everything
24. Finish shabby-ing chest of drawers and get washers for knobs
25. Get better about grooming habits
26. Start new car fund
27. limit myself to 1 soda a week
28. Get up when my alarm goes off. (the first one...not the 6th one)
And since I will have had these extra 32 days to work on these I should have a good head start right? Well, let me just say it's only the 2nd day of the year and I've already changed about 6 of these - clean out the garage was one but my roommate took care of that yesterday and it looks quite lovely! I've done better about drinking more water and so far have done good about doing Simple Abundance and journaling.
You might notice that several of these (7 to be exact) are goals under the "lose weight" umbrella. I want to set myself up for habits that I can continue throughout the rest of the year (and my life) to help maintain and encourage weight loss. And with Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays off I can use those days to plan meals and cook ahead of time so when I get home I just pop something in the oven or microwave for dinner and I'm good to go.
One thing my sister and I talked about was doing water aerobics or joining the YMCA - well...one perk about working at Cook Children's is all the discounts we get - and yes, there is one at the YMCA...just might be going three this week to enroll!!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
2011 - The Year in Review
Holy cow! What a year! In re-reading a lot of these posts they're depressing to be quite frank. Hopefully I can change my mindset in the coming year to be more positive (and encouraging for those of you in the same boat).
Since it's been a LONG time since my last post, let me give you a run-down on the past year.
In March, I joined a home church of singles (and a couple young marrieds) and have now found a new group of friends that have become more like family than anything.
In June I became an Aunt to Maxwell James who is now almost 7 months!! I also attended one of my best friends Weddings at the end of June
In July, I moved into a HOUSE!!
And finally the biggest news of all, I got a new Job (in IT no less!) in November. It has been such a huge blessing and a big weight off my shoulders as it accompanied a big raise as well. With that has also come the opportunity to spend more time with my sister and nephew and it has brought us a lot closer.
With regards to weight and exercise and eating healthy....it pretty much went out the window this year - I ended up cancelling my membership to curves and have not been very dilligent about exercise or eating right, but I have at least maintained my weight.
Since it's been a LONG time since my last post, let me give you a run-down on the past year.
In March, I joined a home church of singles (and a couple young marrieds) and have now found a new group of friends that have become more like family than anything.
In June I became an Aunt to Maxwell James who is now almost 7 months!! I also attended one of my best friends Weddings at the end of June
In July, I moved into a HOUSE!!
And finally the biggest news of all, I got a new Job (in IT no less!) in November. It has been such a huge blessing and a big weight off my shoulders as it accompanied a big raise as well. With that has also come the opportunity to spend more time with my sister and nephew and it has brought us a lot closer.
With regards to weight and exercise and eating healthy....it pretty much went out the window this year - I ended up cancelling my membership to curves and have not been very dilligent about exercise or eating right, but I have at least maintained my weight.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
This year, I'm giving up 15 pounds for lent....or more.
I'm SO excited - Sunday night was the return of Ruby. In just the first 10 minutes I have already realized how many similarities I have with her. My last relationship was conditional - everything was based on my weight; if I did this, then.... He was also unavailable in the physical sense (being physically present in the relationship) and emotional sense - he was always sleeping or playing video games. Literally. We fought a lot, and had a lot of major differences. But because he was the guy I was with the longest I thought I knew what love really was. In hearing all this about Ruby it really makes me look within and think about what brought me to the weight I am (or was over a year ago) and a lot of it had to do with not being physically active and the lifestyle he encouraged (video games 24/7). Another part of it had to do with feeling un-accepted at Chiles when I moved when I was at my lightest. I'm gradually learning to accept responsibility for how I've contributed to my weight gain - not being physically active, eating junk, not expressing my feelings instead of eating them, not learning to deal with tough scenarios instead of running away and eating.
One thing I'm really struggling with is still working out. I have all the reasons in the world to work out - I know all the benefits - I have an image of how I want to look - I have events coming up that I want to look thinner for but when it comes to setting foot in curves there's something that scares me to death. I haven't been able to figure out what it is - even doing work out videos - I can start but then there's this fear that wells up inside me - I can't explain it or what I even feel - I know once I do go to curves I'm glad when I'm done - I'm glad I went. I can come up with about a million reasons or things that I can and should be doing instead of working out, but the reality is if I don't get this under control I won't be able to do those things. It's a struggle - a struggle to rid myself of all the negative tapes, to get rid of all the negative views I have on people and life.
On a lighter note, I'm in my old college roommate's wedding in June. I went and picked up my dress yesterday and decided to do a comparison from my dress last year that I had for Monica's wedding. The size difference? 5 SIZES SMALLER THIS YEAR!!!!!
I'm trying to eat better - so far I've gone almost 2 weeks without junk food, getting creative in the kitchen - it's all about baby steps right?
One thing I'm really struggling with is still working out. I have all the reasons in the world to work out - I know all the benefits - I have an image of how I want to look - I have events coming up that I want to look thinner for but when it comes to setting foot in curves there's something that scares me to death. I haven't been able to figure out what it is - even doing work out videos - I can start but then there's this fear that wells up inside me - I can't explain it or what I even feel - I know once I do go to curves I'm glad when I'm done - I'm glad I went. I can come up with about a million reasons or things that I can and should be doing instead of working out, but the reality is if I don't get this under control I won't be able to do those things. It's a struggle - a struggle to rid myself of all the negative tapes, to get rid of all the negative views I have on people and life.
On a lighter note, I'm in my old college roommate's wedding in June. I went and picked up my dress yesterday and decided to do a comparison from my dress last year that I had for Monica's wedding. The size difference? 5 SIZES SMALLER THIS YEAR!!!!!
I'm trying to eat better - so far I've gone almost 2 weeks without junk food, getting creative in the kitchen - it's all about baby steps right?
Thursday, December 30, 2010
It's been a long road.......
"....gettin' from there to here. It's been a long time but my time is finally near and I can feel a change in the wind right now, nothing's in my way and they're not going to hold me down no more, no they're not going to hold me down. Cause I've got faith of the heart. I'm going where my heart will take me. I've got faith to believe, I can do anything. I've got strength of the soul and no one is going to bend or break me. I can reach any star. I've got faith, faith of the heart" - Rod Stewart
I'm going to steal a bit from my friend Lynn's blog and do a bit from a song. This was one of the 'Pathways songs' and for some reason this song was on my heart for the past couple of nights. I guess it should be, tomorrow is the last day of the year. And what a year it's been. I vowed to start losing weight and yes, I've started, I've dropped a whole size...it's taken a year, but I've been through some pretty incredible processes in that year, learning about me, about what I want, where I want to go and I'm ready to fully embrace the new year with all the adventures it holds.
Tonight I had a little bit of a sad moment. After watching Hoarders (which inevitably ALWAYS happens) I wanted to go through and clean out EVERYTHING from my closet. So I started going through clothes, finding what I didn't wear, what I still wanted to wear but couldn't and I realized there were several articles of clothing that I dearly loved but could not wear anymore. It made me sad to have to put them up and to come to the realization that I thought I would be there now. I thought I would be at the point where I could wear some of that stuff and I can't. I know I've had a lot of drama going on in my life the past couple of months and I haven't been regular at curves. Sure I have workout DVDs here, two legs and a plethora of other exercise equipment right in my own room but there it sits, collecting dust day after day while I sit on the couch day after day vowing to return to it the next day thinking, "I'll have more energy tomorrow," or "tomorrow won't be nearly as stressful". I've had to take a good hard look at some of the habits and routines I have in my life and what things aren't working for me. I have to have some major work done on my car tomorrow which is costing a pretty penny - money that, had I not gone hogwild in college I would have set aside in an emergency fund - realizing that I need to pay off my debt which means an extra job which means ZERO time which MEANS (get to the point already right?!).....I'm going to have to MAKE time to work out. It's going to have to become a priority this next year or this weight will never come off. Granted there's other habits that need to change too and I'm working on them (granted they'll be easier to manage once I have more income...eating healthy is NOT cheap!!!).
It has been a long road, looking back from 2000-2010 - I've lived in 3 states, 11 different houses, dated 7 guys, had 3 cars (none totaled or wrecked just sold or given away....), 'buried' 2 pets (we never found out what happened to Tigger and we spread Jeb's ashes), graduated from HS and college, and done lots of growing up. I'm ready for the next 10 years, whatever they may hold. It's been a long road, but my journey isn't over yet. It never will be. "I've got faith to believe I can do anything....I've got faith, faith of the heart".
I'm going to steal a bit from my friend Lynn's blog and do a bit from a song. This was one of the 'Pathways songs' and for some reason this song was on my heart for the past couple of nights. I guess it should be, tomorrow is the last day of the year. And what a year it's been. I vowed to start losing weight and yes, I've started, I've dropped a whole size...it's taken a year, but I've been through some pretty incredible processes in that year, learning about me, about what I want, where I want to go and I'm ready to fully embrace the new year with all the adventures it holds.
Tonight I had a little bit of a sad moment. After watching Hoarders (which inevitably ALWAYS happens) I wanted to go through and clean out EVERYTHING from my closet. So I started going through clothes, finding what I didn't wear, what I still wanted to wear but couldn't and I realized there were several articles of clothing that I dearly loved but could not wear anymore. It made me sad to have to put them up and to come to the realization that I thought I would be there now. I thought I would be at the point where I could wear some of that stuff and I can't. I know I've had a lot of drama going on in my life the past couple of months and I haven't been regular at curves. Sure I have workout DVDs here, two legs and a plethora of other exercise equipment right in my own room but there it sits, collecting dust day after day while I sit on the couch day after day vowing to return to it the next day thinking, "I'll have more energy tomorrow," or "tomorrow won't be nearly as stressful". I've had to take a good hard look at some of the habits and routines I have in my life and what things aren't working for me. I have to have some major work done on my car tomorrow which is costing a pretty penny - money that, had I not gone hogwild in college I would have set aside in an emergency fund - realizing that I need to pay off my debt which means an extra job which means ZERO time which MEANS (get to the point already right?!).....I'm going to have to MAKE time to work out. It's going to have to become a priority this next year or this weight will never come off. Granted there's other habits that need to change too and I'm working on them (granted they'll be easier to manage once I have more income...eating healthy is NOT cheap!!!).
It has been a long road, looking back from 2000-2010 - I've lived in 3 states, 11 different houses, dated 7 guys, had 3 cars (none totaled or wrecked just sold or given away....), 'buried' 2 pets (we never found out what happened to Tigger and we spread Jeb's ashes), graduated from HS and college, and done lots of growing up. I'm ready for the next 10 years, whatever they may hold. It's been a long road, but my journey isn't over yet. It never will be. "I've got faith to believe I can do anything....I've got faith, faith of the heart".
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Walls
I heard this song back when Friday Night Lights was coming back (in the summer - I don't even watch the show, but the song they played with the trailer caught my attention) and at the time I felt a real connection to the message. Check it out.
To me it has real relevance to where I am in life and in my weight loss journey. I have put up walls between me and my family, my friends and pretty much everyone - to keep me safe from being rejected. Those walls are fat. It's easier to be shunned because of weight than to be rejected because they don't like who I am, which I have slowly started to accept who I am, my personalitiy, likes, dislikes and just be me. I have had a hard time all my life NOT being accepted...moving senior year of high school didn't really help much and as weird as this sounds, it's become kind of a default - when I don't feel accepted in a particular place, I'd rather move than keep trying to become accepted and finding new people to hang out with who can appreciate all my quirks and flaws. I had a really hard time with that here. When I initially moved here, I had a hard time fitting in with the singles group and so I eventually stopped going and interacting with people. I have a really bad habit of letting past events dictate who I am, who I become and what I do, instead of getting over it and learning from it.
So how does it relate to my weight? I use past rejection to keep myself stuck and not work out. (granted part of it is I HATE to feel pain, although I heard a quote that pain is what shows you that you're alive...still trying to wrap my head around that one...and another that what other people think about you is none of your business...think on that!! ) But mostly, it's accepting myself no matter my size, color, style, relationship status or whatever; using my strengths and not letting my weakness get the best of me. While my weight loss may not be as dramatic as I'd like it to be, I'm making the changes that will last throughout the rest of my life and gaining tools that I can pass on to my kids (someday!) and other people who are struggling with their weight.
To me it has real relevance to where I am in life and in my weight loss journey. I have put up walls between me and my family, my friends and pretty much everyone - to keep me safe from being rejected. Those walls are fat. It's easier to be shunned because of weight than to be rejected because they don't like who I am, which I have slowly started to accept who I am, my personalitiy, likes, dislikes and just be me. I have had a hard time all my life NOT being accepted...moving senior year of high school didn't really help much and as weird as this sounds, it's become kind of a default - when I don't feel accepted in a particular place, I'd rather move than keep trying to become accepted and finding new people to hang out with who can appreciate all my quirks and flaws. I had a really hard time with that here. When I initially moved here, I had a hard time fitting in with the singles group and so I eventually stopped going and interacting with people. I have a really bad habit of letting past events dictate who I am, who I become and what I do, instead of getting over it and learning from it.
So how does it relate to my weight? I use past rejection to keep myself stuck and not work out. (granted part of it is I HATE to feel pain, although I heard a quote that pain is what shows you that you're alive...still trying to wrap my head around that one...and another that what other people think about you is none of your business...think on that!! ) But mostly, it's accepting myself no matter my size, color, style, relationship status or whatever; using my strengths and not letting my weakness get the best of me. While my weight loss may not be as dramatic as I'd like it to be, I'm making the changes that will last throughout the rest of my life and gaining tools that I can pass on to my kids (someday!) and other people who are struggling with their weight.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
It's about time....
I had a wonderful Thanksgiving in Nashville with my family (sans sister and brother-in-law), instead of being vegetables and gorging on food, I decided to start a new tradition - doing a 5k Thanksgiving morning. My mom, my aunt and my cousin had never done one and my dad had done one many moons ago. We ALL completed it in less than an hour - my SECOND one for 2010 and I beat my time back in April. I didn't eat quite so much dressing and hardly ANY dessert! YAY ME!!
While in Nashville, my mom presented me with some old photos. One of them was from my high school graduation trip to Destin, FL. I was shocked at how skinny I was. I showed the picture to one of my (male) friends who, after picking his jaw up off the floor and making a few awkward comments, made the observations that I was that skinny once and I can be again and furthermore, the reason I got to where I am no longer exists, so why am I struggling so much with losing weight? Good point. While the person may not physically be in my life anymore, the things he said still echo with me. I have no problem imagining myself skinny again, but when it comes to actually doing the hard work and pushing myself, I always stop short. I didn't always do that, but it seems to have become the norm in more areas in my life. I am still trying to determine the point where the change happened and I think it was after my first Jury at FSU when I was told I need to change majors. I thought I had gotten past that, but apparrently there's some unresolevd issues that still demand attention. I think I need to do a Pathways activity and write down all those old "tapes" and things he used to tell me about myself and replace them with new positive things, as for the lack of motivation and discipline....I'm going to need some help with conquering that beast.
On a more positive note....I dropped a size!! YAY! A week after I bought new jeans they were already starting to become loose. Too bad I don't have the cash to support my new clothes habit.
While in Nashville, my mom presented me with some old photos. One of them was from my high school graduation trip to Destin, FL. I was shocked at how skinny I was. I showed the picture to one of my (male) friends who, after picking his jaw up off the floor and making a few awkward comments, made the observations that I was that skinny once and I can be again and furthermore, the reason I got to where I am no longer exists, so why am I struggling so much with losing weight? Good point. While the person may not physically be in my life anymore, the things he said still echo with me. I have no problem imagining myself skinny again, but when it comes to actually doing the hard work and pushing myself, I always stop short. I didn't always do that, but it seems to have become the norm in more areas in my life. I am still trying to determine the point where the change happened and I think it was after my first Jury at FSU when I was told I need to change majors. I thought I had gotten past that, but apparrently there's some unresolevd issues that still demand attention. I think I need to do a Pathways activity and write down all those old "tapes" and things he used to tell me about myself and replace them with new positive things, as for the lack of motivation and discipline....I'm going to need some help with conquering that beast.
On a more positive note....I dropped a size!! YAY! A week after I bought new jeans they were already starting to become loose. Too bad I don't have the cash to support my new clothes habit.
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